Yoohoo~!

Today I am going to share my happiness! XD

I feel proud of myself! Why? hehe... i have been learning how to duck dive and get the abalone by myself since the beginning of the summer Dec 2011. Yay! Yay! Finally…finally i got them on last Sunday! :D Now I can say I’m graduated! Hehe… Thanks for that person who gave me the glorious lessons. I really appreciate that.

My next aim! I hope I can get my diving license next year! I love swimming and sea life! I really do! :D It is like another beautiful and peaceful world for me. Espeacially when the fishes swimming around you. It's so amazing and they are so pretty.

My sifu! hahaha...

Sigh... :(

I just realized I'll only update my blog when i feel sad. Because I don't know who can i talk to anymore.

I'm a very forgetful person but i never forget something that very important. I made a TERRIBLE mistake yesterday! My colleague asked me to help him picked up his daughter from school at 12.45pm yesterday. I didn't forget about it and i reminded myself few times yesterday morning. Even his wife texted me at 11am to remind me picked up her daughter. Guess what i replied her "Yes, i remember. See you later :)". Who would i know i totally forgot about it until my colleague rang my boss and asked where was i at 1.30pm. My boss was yelling at me "Carmen! you forgot Esme!" OMGGGG!!!! I feel so bad! I'm a terrible person! Until now I still can't forgive myself. i wanted to apologize to them, i rang them but they didnt want to answer their phones. I sent millions of sorry to my colleague and his wife but they didnt reply my text. Seem like they are not going to forgive me. :((((

I didn't do it purposely. I forgot to picked her up because i was too busy doing my work at that time. What else can i do to make up for my mistake? i know they trust me a lot and i have disappointed them. I'm really sorry... :(((

At least，there is a thing still can cheer me up. There are still some friends are really care about me. Although just a short message that asked me what's going on? How am i? its really means a lot to me. I feel glad that I still have you all...

:(

Hello i'm back again. :)

A lot of things have been happening to my life lately, where do i start?

Here we go…

Family

My brother has been regularly undergoing dialysis since December 2010. I thought he would grow up after all the things that have happened to him, but how disappoints us. He still remains the same. He acts likes a 10 years old child! Playing computer games and often going to the cinema to watch movies. Damn it! >.< He didn’t think at all when he spent all this money. He doesn’t worry about anything! He can’t work! He doesn’t have any income and he still owes a few banks for credit card payments! Maybe he did it purposely, so that we won’t worry about him. This CNY I went back to Malaysia. My mum and dad look older than before because of him! My mum and dad cry because of him! He didn’t even know and still blame on us! He didn’t think why his health condition will turn bad? He doesn’t think about why we do so many things for him! It is just because we love him! Can’t you just appreciate what we did for you? T.T

Friendship

One of my closest friends that I’ve always trusted backstabbed me. She acts like an Angel in front of everyone, but actually she is a Devil behind you! Maybe I shouldn’t say that, maybe I’m the only one she ever did this to. I really don’t know what’s wrong with her! She was such a close friend and then one day completely changed with no apparent reason. I don’t know what I did that made her suddenly turn 180°. She said something that’s not true at all, behind my back to my friend! I tried to call her but she never answered my phone call and didn’t return my call. I texted her but she never replied! We used to be very close but now everything has changed. Even when we met each other, we didn’t talk more that 5 sentences at all. Luckily I still have a small handful of awesome friends who I know for a fact will show up in a snow storm driving 2 hours into the middle of nowhere to bust me out of a bad situation. Treat people like you want to be treated though. If you aren’t going to be there for them through hardships, why should they be there for you?

Heartrending

Recently, there are a few friends told me that their family member gets sick, me too. I just talked to an old friend. Just knew that his mother gets sick and she is going to blind soon. Why? Diabetes!!! I feel sorry to hear that and I really feel bad for him because he doesn’t know what to do, me too. Another friend's brother got minor stroke because of diabetes. My brother starts to do dialysis because of diabetes too.

I’m so far away from home, I can’t do anything but even I were home I also don’t know what to do. The only thing that I know what I can do is do not let my parents worry about me. Currently my parents need to put full attention on my brother due to his sickness. Hopefully, through this incident my brother will grow up and also will take good care himself. Please do not wait until something happen that will make him regret forever only he decided to change. That will be too late.

2 days ago one I got sorrowful news from my high school classmate. She told me that one of my high school classmates passed away because of car accident. When I heard the news I felt so sad. Its just freaked me out. I just met him last year during CNY. I talked to him and we said that we will keep in touch. Who knows… May he rest in peace... (T.T)

Life is short, we must appreciate what we have now.

2011

Happy New Year! Happy 2011! New Year New Life! All bad things already over and all good things coming soon! :)

Just realized is already 2011! hehe... I’ve only updated few blogs last year. :P

I wonder why other people have a lot of things to update in their blog but for me i really don't know what to update! It takes me ages to update a blog. wuakaka! It makes me feel ashamed.

Ok. I will try my best to update my blog more often. It’s really needs my endurance and effort on it. Maria keeps asking me to update my blog so that my English will improve through here. I think now she had run out of effort to ask me update my blog. haha...

On the other hand, I’ve also addicted to the songs that sang by Maria Mena, I’m in Love and It must have been love. I just fell in love to her voice. She has a great voice, her voice is so beautiful, and she is amazing. The songs that sang by her are full of emotional and meaningful. You guys can have a try, see whether you guys will fall in love to her song or not! :) Maybe it’s just my cup of tea. Haha…. XD

...

I have done what I suppose to do! Everything had come to an end. When you decided to press the button, you have made the decision. You are the one who choose to end up like this!

Never expect this kind of things will happen to me. It felt horrible to get back to the screen. The one I most trusted betray me. The screen keep replay in my mind. T__T

Why my relationships get worse to worst? Is this my karma? Is this my fault? There is only one word to describe my feeling now “SPEECHLESS”!

Will loneliness drive someone insane? Will loneliness drive someone become thoughtless? I think the worst thing had happen to me now. Hope that all bad things that happen to me had come to an end.

Start my new day today! Wish myself good luck and all the best! :)

Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo~

Geram!!!

Recently I'm looking for job, I think i'm going jobless soon. I need to get a job ASAP! If not i'm going to die!!! My crazy boss told me the same things everyday? you have to give bla bla bla pressure! you have to ask bla bla bla to get new projects! If not our company not going to continue. He told me this thousand times!!!! Please stop telling me all this!! i'm hate to hear all the reasons that you gave us. 1 word! BORE!!!! Can you please take your own responsibility?? If you don't want to fight for the company then who will? The company is yours! not mine!!! i only can to the account for you!!! Please do what you should do instead of keep pushing all the things for other people. Things never come so easy! Don't expect everyone will fight for you without your own endeavour. I'm 100% sure my boss doesn't understand the meaning of "Give and Take"!!! He always want us to "GIVE" and he is the one who always "TAKE"! The most overstep thing was he always paid my colleague which is local people on time instead of my friend and I!!! Damn him!!! When i saw him i still need to smile with him! haiz... This is the different between employer and employees!!! Customers are always RIGHT!!! Boss also always RIGHT!!! i want my SALARY!!!!!! >.<>